Here keys to happiness
Being Happy is a Choice
You can do the same. If you tell yourself that something isn't so unpleasant, often times, you can make it less unpleasant, even likable.
Here are some tips for increasing your happiness.
1) Find hobbies you like
This is extremely obvious to state, but you can increase your " happiness "
level by finding hobbies you like. “But I don’t like anything!” you may
whine. Stop whining and try new things. There must be something you
can enjoy. Think about what you like, and if you can’t do what you
like, try to identify the most similar things possible.
Some examples: I've always wanted to be a screenwriter. But I
have almost zero chance of getting a film made. So I do the next closest
thing, I write novels, and publish them on the internet. I don’t have a huge
audience, but at least I get to do something close to what I want to do. If
you like to paint, draw, or write, you can do the same thing too.
Another example: I've always wanted to have a red panda as a
pet, they are very cute animals. But red pandas are simply not available as
pets. So I got a Pomeranian instead. Pomeranian look a lot like red
pandas.
Another example: It’s hard for me to find new music I like. I
generally enjoy science fiction movie soundtracks. So I used software to
modify the music I like—to change the pitch and tempo—to make new
versions of the songs I like but am growing tired of.
Another example: I would love to be President of the United
States. I have great ideas on how to resolve most of society’s problems
very quickly. But getting elected president is very, very competitive and
difficult, and Americans tend to elect very dull people to be president,
which probably disqualifies me. So I used to play computer games that
allow me to be President and simulate what the experience would be like.
Let’s turn back to you: Say you like sailing, but you live in a place
without access to sailboats or the oceans. What about flying a kite? It
sounds pathetic at first, but it’s actually somewhat similar—moving
something with the wind.
Say you like miniature golf but you live in a culturally deprived
area that doesn't have miniature golf. Go to the forest with your friends
and golf clubs and make your own course, digging holes and using twigs
as obstacles and barriers.
Enjoy your life!
Suppose you like racing miniaturized race cars but don’t have the
opportunity to do it. Get a computer game which will let you do it. Again,
not the same thing, but somewhat similar. So you see, if you stop
complaining and use your imagination you can find things you will
like.
2) Find a job you like
This is also extremely obvious to mention, but worth mentioning
nonetheless. Too many people get stuck with jobs they don’t like. Inertia
makes them reluctant to move. If you’re in a job you don’t like, don’t just
sit there, find something else.
Common objections:
“I don’t know what kind of job to try for.” Translation: the
whole situation is so tense for you that you can’t even summon the energy
to research what you might like to do. The tension, and fear of what
another job might be like, are what are keeping you at your current job.
After all, while your current job may be unpleasant, at least it is a known,
familiar quantity. A new job is filled with unknowns and is a major life
change. People naturally worry whether they’ll like a new job, whether it
will work out, whether they’d be fired, etc. In the presence of a steady
paycheck a new job is not something that one seeking stability naturally
gravitates towards. But sometimes you have to take risks in order to make
gains. If worst comes to worst and the new job doesn't work out, you can
quit and find another. There will be hassles and it won’t be easy, but you
can usually do it. If you can realize this, and remove the stress from
searching for a job, then you can get the energy to research new
possibilities.
“There’s nothing else I’d like to do.” That may or may not be
true, but if you really don’t like your job, there are probably there are jobs
out there that you would find substantially less objectionable than your
current one. Wouldn't it make sense to work at a less unpleasant job, at
least reducing your " unhappiness " ? If all choices are equally unpleasant
work-wise, try for a job with fewer hours so at least you’ll spend less time
doing it.
Be happy!
“I can’t take a pay cut.” Can’t… or won’t? If it’s a question of
feeding your children then I’m sympathetic. If it’s a question of cutting
back on vacations and living within a tighter budget I’m less so. What is
more important, making more money, or for years spending 8 or more
hours a day, nearly every day, at a job you don’t like?
“I can’t get a job doing what I really want to do.” That may be
so, but perhaps you can find a job doing something closer to what you
want to do. For example, if you want to work for the FBI, but can’t get
hired, perhaps you can work for the police in a smaller town where there
is less competition for jobs. It’s not a glamorous, but it is a similar field.
Another example: say you want to be a painter but can’t make a career of
it. If you get a job at an art gallery, it won’t showcase your work, but at
least you will be working in the same field.
Sometimes the connection is not always intuitive. Say you wanted
to be an actor but like most actors can’t get a job in the field. Consider
becoming a teacher; while not the same profession, it does have some
similarities. An actor performs and a teacher educates, and these are
important differences. But students are still an audience and a teacher has
to keep a class interested in order to teach them; therein lies some
similarities with acting. If you can find these kinds of intrinsic similarities
in radically different professions, you can create more job prospects for
yourself.
Alternatively, if you can’t get your dream job you can usually
pursue it as a hobby, especially if it is in the arts. Paint, write, draw, sing,
and act, if it pleases you, but do it for yourself, for your own satisfaction.
Remember, if you’re employed, you spend most of your
waking hours every week at a job. If it’s something you don’t like,
that’s a lot of time spent stuck in " unhappiness ".
3) Enjoy sunshine and sunsets and free wind
Free wing! Have you ever held out your arms and felt wind blow by your
body? It can be quite a pleasurable experience. Wind is currently free, the
government has not yet found a way to tax it. You should enjoy the rush
Enjoy your life!
of free air. You should also enjoy the warm glow of sunshine on your
face, or the beautiful hues of sunsets.
4) Make your day full of small joys
Enjoy the small things in life—the soft chair you sit on at work, the feel of
acceleration of the car underneath you, the odd face of a fellow student or
coworker, the foods you insert into your body at lunch—and learn to look
forward to these things as you start your day.
Example. Even the act of walking down a hallway can bring you
pleasure. Notice the big, thick walls around you—isn't is amazing to be
surrounded by these huge, heavy piles of concrete that don’t fall down on
you? Notice the hardness of the floor under your feet, carefully press
down with each step to feel the sensation fully. Notice the shadows
created by your head and arms and legs. Look down the hallway in the
distance and see what is at the very end. You can have a lot of fun
walking down a hallway!
It may sound ridiculous to expect to enjoy such small things but if
you train your mind to enjoy these things and look forward to them you
will lead a happier life. Admittedly, it’s hard to do, but if you practice,
you can gain some degree of skill in doing so.
Enjoy sensations. Take special notice to feel the softness of a
pillow, or a chair resting against your back, or the hardness of a desk
under your touch.
Enjoy visual pleasures. Look at people and places around you.
Faces and expressions are especially descriptive.
Enjoy ironies. Laugh in your mind when things turn out opposite
from what is expected. Laugh to yourself when a problem solving meeting
is held that solves nothing, when you see a commercial that promises
something ridiculous or improbable, or when a politician promises
something.
To be continued ... :D
The real cause of unhappiness
How to Be Happy in Life
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